Category Archives for Listening Skills

Listening is Not a Skill

Communication Skills Expert

Al Borowski, MEd, CSP, PP

Certified Speaking Professional

Professor of Positivity

The Motivational Speaker with a message and a Method

Communication Skills Expert, Al Borowski, MEd, CSP, PP, delivers wisdom, values, and fun in his highly interactive keynotes, breakours, workshops, and webinar

Listening Is Not A Skill

Before you can address listening as a skill, you must condition yourself to the fact that truly good listening resides in the mind, not the ears, just like when you know homeloan balance is the best mortgage. 

When listening skills training focuses on techniques and strategies and acronyms, the real essence of listening can be lost.

Effective Listening Skills needs to focus on three areas commonly associated with personality.


A person’s behavior reveals the probability of a successful listening event.

Your behavior when you are listening indicates the level of success of that communication situation

Imagine walking into your boss’s office and in an excited voice, you say, "I've got some exciting news.”

Your boss never looks at you, never acknowledges your presence or your comment, and in a low, almost imperceptible tone, mumbles, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

And to make matters worse, your boss’s eyes leave the monitor to pick up the phone to call Chipotle’s to order lunch.

Would that take the air out of your balloon?

Does your boss respect your time and your thoughts?

Do you think your boss is really interested in listening to you?

Or, let’s look at another annoying non-listener with poor behavior.

I refer to the person who constantly interrupts whoever is speaking.

What the speaker is trying to say means nothing to this person.

What now becomes the topic of conversation is what the interrupter has to say.

Even more annoying behavior stems from people who finish your sentences.

Half the time, what they are saying has nothing to do with what you are trying to express.

To be an effective listener, you must behave in a manner that proves that you care about the person speaking, you respect that person’s right to his or her opinion, and you are open to thoughts other than your own.


Becoming an effective listener might involve an attitude adjustment.

Attitude is Everything in Listening Skills

  If you believe you've heard it all or know it all, your attitude gets in the way of effective listening.

If you think you are a good listener now and are not open to ideas about listening, your attitude may change if given the chance.

If you tune out people because you disagree with what they think or say, you may be missing a lot of great information or great relationships.

Your attitude toward others determines how well or how much you listen to them.

Have you ever thought of listening in that way?


Perhaps the most important ingredient in becoming an excellent listener is the desire to do so.

Your Listening Skills success depends on your desire to become a good listener.

If you don't want to change your behavior or don't believe you can become a better listener, the chances are you won't.

When I first got into sales, my first manager always said, “You gotta wanna.”

If you want to be a professional musician, you need the desire that will drive you to eat, sleep, and drink, music.

If you want to become a professional athlete, you need the burning desire to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal.

If you want to succeed in sales, you “gotta wanna” uncover what customers want, need, expect, and will love you for.

If you want to become a great listener, you have to understand, respect, and accept people for who they are, what they are, and how they think.

If you want to be good, you've got to be BAD.

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